FishermansEnemy

Google, hey Google.... could you come over here for just one second? Cool.

OK Google. W.T.F? Seriously though W.T.F?

You've launched Google+ to great fanfare, you've got your eyes on facebook like it's the most popular guy at school and you'd just like a little bit of that attention for your own social life. Why do all the cool girls fawn over Zuckerberg? Or guys, whatever, I don't judge.

But Google, you know what else Facebook has? Tonnes of wealthy relatives. Have you ever seen his crazy uncle Zynga? Man that guy has more money than he knows what to do with, and thanks to guys like him Facebook is miniting it.

Google, I can see that you've made an effort. You've hit they gym, got the acne cream & the contact lenses. I know your mom loves you, but Aunt Lydia, the one with all the cats, her idea about lay-lines, crystals & circles just aren't going to get you into the girls (or guys) pants without some capital.

So Google, take it from me. We are in the middle of a geek revolution, you know Facebook used to LARP right? He wasn't always king of shit mountain. In the words of MC Hawking "It's NIC Bitch, Nerds In Charge". You need to give the rich guys who just dont understand your vision a profile in your social life so they can use you to make money, and in turn, make you money.

Hell, I know you've got that stash you made from up selling everyone from Generic Cola to Pepsi at your day job, but they don't love you like you want right?

So in summation, GIVE ME MY GOOGLE APPS PROFILE! I'm one of your professional (no sniggering at the back!) users. I will probably soon be setting up on my own as an actual business, do you want my money? Do you want me to point my customers in your direction? then GIVE APPS USERS PROFILES! Stop alienating the people who use you for actual grown up stuff and the monied masses will surely follow to tend their farm and murder their rival organised crime barons.

UPDATE:

[caption id="attachment_221" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="This is what I'm talking about Google. Sort it out."][/caption]